Thursday, April 28, 2011

GO FIGURE: 2 Days Out: Ode to Donkey


There once was a donkey and his name was Fred ..
Every damn morning he would get me out of bed ..
He was an old donkey but he sure made me sweat ..
But not nearly as much as our stinky new pet !!

Thank you Coach Jugs for being so mean ..
Without your badass attitude I would not have gotten so lean ..
You listened to my whining, you are a true gift ..
My butt likes you as well .. must be those deadlift(s)!!

I want to make sure that I thank PA 1 and PA 2 ..
Without them I would not rememeber all that I had to do ..
I wouldnt be here without my whole team ..
To help me achieve my goals and my dream ..

On Saturday I step onto the stage ..
I enter a new chapter and turn a new page ..
What happens in the end remains to be seen ..
But I can tell you one thing .. I WILL BE EATING POUTINE!!

So this concludes my Ode to Donkey and now I must make a few calls ..
Its almost show time so as I always say "BALLS TO THE WALLS"

Monday, April 25, 2011

GO FIGURE: Carbless Style


I thought that it would be amusing to write my last blog before the competition while I am in the deep black hole we call CARB DEPLETION!! I am sure many of you will find the secret hidden grammatical errors (Dougie) and clever puns. I assure you that all of the content is purely a symptom of a disease I have called “carbless-itis”. It’s a common disease amongst competitors who only have a week until show time. Many have only slight side effects, me … well the symptoms hit with a bang!

This morning I had my last donkey riding session (my stationary bike). We shared an intimate moment laughing about old times when I use to wake up early just to take him for a ride while half asleep.

Today I went to work and attempted to perform my usual triple tasking duties. At several points during the day I looked out the window to see the traffic driving by and they seemed to be going 90 mph. It dawned on me that they only appeared to be going so fast because I was moving so slow.

This evening was spent doing my last lower body workout in conjunction with 20 min on the stepper donkey and 20 min on the bike. The fitness facility was as hot as a desert and I actually felt like I was riding a donkey while drinking tequila. Lets just say I was DONE by the time that workout was over. Mission body depletion = accomplished! I texted my coach to tell him that I hated him (a common occurrence) for making me do that workout when he replied that it wasn’t supposed to be a heavy lifting workout. I explained that lifting a paper clip at this point is strenuous!

My regular daily progress pictures were sent to my coach this evening. His response was “OOOO-MI-GOD. WOW. Hands down … holy f%^*&* s%%&*”. He is a man of many selective descriptive words. I had to confirm that was a good response. He said YES.

Our home is filled with blue foam fingers that are being painted and personalized for the show. The Jenny B Fit clan is getting packed and ready for the journey to Quebec. I am primping, priming and posing to prepare (too many P’s). I am also ensuring that all of the post show food products are readily available. You will find out what these are in the next instalment of GO FIGURE. I have a feeling it might be a C themed blog. Cookies, chips and cupcakes!!!

Well I am heading to bed now. Yes, it’s only 7:00 pm BUT I get carbs tomorrow! Time to get on the road and head to the show! ITS GO TIME!!

Once again many thanks to my special peeps who provide endless support, motivation, facebook status corrections, love, food creations and many laughs. My two personal assistants have been my lifesavers. Much love to all of you.

Now lets go Team Jenny B! Woot Woot!

Monday, April 4, 2011

GO FIGURE: Contest day is within reach!!


Its been a while since my last blog. I have been busy ridin the donkey (old school stationary bike).

I will tell you a few things about this donkey:
1. He needs to eat more so his back isnt so boney
2. He really needs to take some glucosamine so that his joints arent so squeaky
3. His pale body could use a tan

Other than that I am rockin it! My main goals if you read my previous blogs were to balance out my upper body and develop my lower body over the past 7 months. I am happy to say that with the constant support of my coach, family and friends that I have made amazing changes. I am proud and almost ready to put all my hard work on stage!

Less than 4 weeks to go and the posing suit is done and the rest of the competition elements are in order.

The support of my new family is amazing and I am very appreciative of them helping in everyway possible.


The cardio is on each day, the weights are five times a week and posing another 3 days. I am still fat loading 5.5 days a week with under 30g of carbs and then for 1.5 days I carb load with minimal fats ... to refuel the system. Its a VERY different approach than most competitors BUT it works for me!

Each "carb day" is called the Jenny B Carb show at our house. It entails me jumping up and down excited for pancakes and syrup or some sugar filled cereal .. I then shuffle around the kitchen island and ask for chocolate and chips .. of course I dont get them .. but we all laugh at my tactics to try and get some .. they never give in!

Life in Ontario is perfect as perfect could be .. minus my sister / PA #2 of course .. and FBIL .. I am enjoying the new surroundings, job and everything that the East brings.

At the moment I am planning a competition strategy for the 2011 and 2012 season. I am going to actively seek out sponsorship opportunities after this show. I hope to continue within the industry and give it all I have.

Now its time to rest the body and get back on that donkey for in 24 days its SHOW TIME!!! GIVER BALLS TO THE WALLS PEOPLE !!!